Barr Defines Libertarianism July 3, 2008
Posted by mande_wilkes in : Presidential Politics , 13 comments
AND THEN DEFIES IT
By Mande Wilkes
FITSNews - July 3, 2008 - In a recent appearance on Fox News, Libertarian Party presidential candidate Bob Barr explained why he embodies libertarian principles - we’re just not sure he understands what those principles are.
As we see it, libertarianism is at its core about personal autonomy, that God-given right which has been under attack by politicians who insist that they know what’s best for each one of us. Bob Barr appears to agree, declaring that libertarianism represents the fight “to shrink the size of the federal government.”
But Barr has an odd method of tackling that goal, and anchor Chris Wallace pointedly called him out on his questionable commitment to individual freedom from expansive governance. One by one, Wallace highlights freedom-limiting legislation that Barr helped pass, revealing the Congressman’s voting record to be inconsistent with his declared libertarian paradigm. (more…)
Doggone Shame
Posted by fitsnews in : Sports , 6 comments
GEORGIA MASCOT GOES TO “AIR-CONDITIONED KENNEL IN THE SKY”
FITSNews - July 3, 2008 - Let’s get one thing straight - we couldn’t hate the Georgia Bulldogs more if we tried. Their fans have an average IQ of about 40, and on top of that they’re really, really mean. And tend to smell. We’ve been to practically every football stadium in the Southeastern Conference, and there’s no doubt that Georgia fans are the stupidest, stankiest and angriest fans anywhere … especially when they lose to South Carolina on their home field.
Anyway, having said all that, Georgia does have the coolest mascot in the country - an English Bulldog known as “UGA.” And sadly, the latest in a long line of UGA’s (number VI) just passed away:
Uga VI, mascot for Georgia football teams that won six bowl games among 87 victories over a nine-year span, was interred at the university’s football stadium on Monday in a mausoleum with the remains of five predecessors.
Uga VI died from heart failure Friday in his hometown of Savannah. The body of the English bulldog, whose registered name was Uga V’s Whatchagot Loran, was flown to Athens along with his master’s family in the university plane.
The body was carried inside Uga’s kennel on the back of a golf cart across the field at Sanford Stadium on Monday afternoon accompanied by the song, “The Battle Hymn of the Bulldog Nation,” which is played before Georgia football games.
Georgia fans - the few who can read, anyway - certainly have our condolences on their loss. As much as we detest their University and their football team, you gotta love Uga.
By the way, South Carolina and Georgia will face off at 3:30 p.m. on September 13 in Columbia, which could be a big game in the SEC East assuming the Gamecocks don’t lose to Vanderbilt again.
Christie Brinkley Will Own Your Testicles
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 3 comments
DIVORCE TRIAL DEFINITELY LEANING TOWARD THE UPTOWN GIRL
FITSNews - July 3, 2008 - We have no idea how old former supermodel Christie Brinkley is these days, but we don’t think she’s aged to the point that you’d need to invest $4,000 a month in porn just to keep happy if you were married to her. Or another $300,000 in hush money to the teenager you were banging on the side.
Yet those are the amounts rumored to have been shelled out by Brinkley’s husband, architect Peter Cook, whose day in court yesterday at the couple’s high-profile divorce trial was described as follows:
Just after Christie’s camp basically held up Cook’s testicles for the world to see, she snipped them off and put them in her purse when the 49-year-old Ken doll admitted some of the naughty things he had posted on sex Web sites.
“You’re not proud of what you did, are you?” Cook’s lawyer, Norman Sheresky, asked in a bid to salvage a piece of his client.
“No, I’m not,” Cook replied as tears rolled down to his flawless, tanned jaw.
Revenge? Sure.
Hell hath no fury like a woman who has been scorned and publicly humiliated by a man she loved for 10 years.
Way to go, Christie. We’ve never been big fans of testicles (unnecessary percussion), but given the way men seem to perpetually play with them at all hours of the day, we understand their importance. Perhaps losing his in so public a fashion will teach Cook a lesson, but we doubt it.
The New Batman Is Going To Rock July 2, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 1 comment so farAND HERE’S THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES
FITSNews - July 2, 2008 - We’re firm believers that you can never tell if a movie is going to be any good or not based on its trailer. All they do is cram the coolest scenes into a two-minute clip, which could make practically any flic look good. But this isn’t a trailer … it’s the first five whole minutes of the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight .
And it’s obviously going to rock.
We wrote last week about all the wildly positive advance reviews of Heath Ledger’s performance as “the Joker,” and if this intro clip is any indication of what’s to come, he’s got our Oscar vote in the bag.
Wait, do we have an Oscar vote? Anyway, enjoy …
Bad News For Tourism States
Posted by fitsnews in : SC Politics , 10 comments
AND HOW SOUTH CAROLINA’S LAWMAKERS HAVE MADE OUR STATE’S SITUATION WORSE
FITSNews - July 2, 2008 - With national reports showing that travel this July 4th holiday is down, you’d think that states which rely on tourism to keep their economies up and running (like South Carolina) would be doing everything they could to lure more potential visitors.
Of course, that sort of common sense doesn’t penetrate the thick skulls of our boneheaded lawmakers, who decided to put our state’s tourism marketers into the field this year with one arm tied behind their backs.
Despite restoring a portion of destination-specific marketing dollars to South Carolina’s Department of Parks, Recreation and Tourism, the agency is still working with $11 million less in this year’s budget than it had last year.
Evidently, lawmakers felt that money was better spent on their pet project slush fund.
“(Reduced revenue) means serious changes,” PRT spokesman Marion Edmunds told FITSNews today. “We are having to scale back on the advertising of our product.” (more…)
Coldplay Likes Boobs
Posted by fitsnews in : Good Stuff, Pop Culture , 2 comments
SHOCKING, WE KNOW
FITSNews - July 2, 2008 - While it’s typically not surprising to hear of men liking breasts, the fact that Coldplay’s Chris Martin says he likes them just doesn’t seem quite right to us. Maybe it’s the fact that he sings like a little girl. Or maybe it’s the fact he’s married to Gwyneth Paltrow, which is a lot like being married to one of those branches that ends up in your driveway after a thunderstorm.
Anyway, not that we care, here’s Martin’s case for boobies:
COLDPLAY star CHRIS MARTIN has revealed he used to worry he might be gay — until he realised he loved BOOBS.
Chris, married to Hollywood beauty GWYNETH PALTROW, fretted about his sexuality in his teens because a strict Christian upbringing made him think sex was wrong.
The 31-year-old told Rolling Stone magazine: “What I grew up with was, if you even think about boobs, you’re going to hell.
“It was drilled in — they’re wrong.”
“But let’s face it, they’re fantastic.”
We did some independent research on this question and were able to confirm that boobs are, in fact, “fantastic.” In fact, they’re so fantastic that our founding editor Sic Willie frequently gripes about being the only member of our staff who doesn’t have a pair of his own to play with … although he’s certainly working on it.
Yup, boobs are fabulous. In fact, we’re going to fondle ours right now just for the hell of it.
Rush Gets $400 Million Deal
Posted by fitsnews in : US Politics , 13 comments
THAT’S A LOT OF PAIN PILLS, PEOPLE
FITSNews - July 2, 2008 - Just as we’ve never listened to Don Imus, we’ve never listened to conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh before, either. We’re just not “radio people,” people. We get enough “talkie-talkie” in real life.
Apparently, a lot of other people do listen to the radio, though. Which is probably why Limbaugh just inked a $400 million deal to stay on the radio through 2016. From the Drudge Report:
The American broadcast industry is rocked, realigned and blasted into a new orbit, yet again, by Rush Limbaugh, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
In what is being described as an unprecedented radio contract, Limbaugh will keep his syndicated show on-the-air and e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e through 2016 with CLEAR CHANNEL and PREMIERE RADIO.
Already host of the most lucrative hours since radio’s inception, Limbaugh’s total package is valued north of $400 million, according to media insiders.
Yeah, but is it north of eleventy kabillion dollars? Because that’s the estimated value of our deal.
