Jim Rex Could Kill People And Still Get Good Press

By fitsnews • on January 12, 2007

STATE NEWSPAPER’S FAMILY-FRIENDLY STATUS IN JEOPARDY AFTER FRONT PAGE FELLATIO WITH NEW SUPERINTENDENT

FITSNews - January 12, 2007 - You know, we’re not exactly sure what this crap is, but it sure as hell isn’t reporting:

When Jim Rex stepped off the Rutledge Building elevator Thursday, his first full day on the job as state superintendent of education, smiling co-workers and a blue-and-green handmade sign declaring “We are on your side … !” greeted him.

Rex posed for pictures and shook hands as he walked a friendly gantlet lining a narrow hallway to his 10th-floor office.

“This is like a campaign stop,” he said. “I’ll do it one more time.”

Someone handed him a cup of coffee — “This must be about my 10th one today” — and he eased past his staff to the inner sanctum, where he’ll preside over the 1,000-employee Department of Education, one of the state’s most visible agencies.

A floral bouquet sat on the corner of a barren desk. The note from his predecessor, Inez Tenenbaum, wished him well.

Also awaiting him was a copy of author Pat Conroy’s first best-seller, “The Water is Wide,” which Rex has embraced as a metaphor for his improbable Nov. 7 victory in his first run for office.

Obviously we weren’t there, but holy hell. Did the f***ing clouds part as he walked by too? What about white doves, shimmering samite and the sound of a thousand harps? Did he heal the sick and lame as a voice from Heaven cried out “This is My Beloved Son, In Whom I Am Well Pleased?” Did he pull a nickel out from behind the ear of a kid in a wheelchair? Or give Maude the retiring secretary a big hug and a brand new cuddly puppy in a basket?

You know, we do not like to take the Lord’s name in vain here at FITSNews but all we can say after reading this “article” is Jesus F***ing Christ.

Is this supposed to be a “newspaper article?” Because it feels like we are watching gay porn.

As if being Rex’s daily campaign commercial in 2006 wasn’t enough, it appears The State (a.k.a. La Socialista) is now the State Department of Education’s official website.

Because honestly, this crap belongs in the agency newsletter, not a supposedly objective major daily newspaper.

Oh, and while you’re thinking about that, think about this: Had 300 votes gone the other way and Karen Floyd been walking that hallway this morning, do you think for one second that this is the kind of story she would have gotten?

Geez. And people say we’re biased.

UPDATE - Not surprisingly, propoganda like this didn’t take long to end up where it actually belongs, namely, on the S.C. Democratic Party’s website.

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Comments

By Don Johnson on January 12th, 2007 at 12:15 pm

And you’re surprised because? There are eight years of this crap dating back to the day Inez Tenenbaum was elected.

And no, Floyd would not have gotten this coverage. It would have gone something like this:

Floyd, school choice supporters, take over Rutledge Building

By Rill Bobinson
La Socialista

Karen Floyd walked the empty halls of the Department of Education’s 10th floor, according to a lone staffer who spoke to The State on condition of anonymity, who also said her first appointment of the day was to get her marching orders from Howard Rich.

Floyd looked over the dead flowers on her desk and out the windows into the gray, stormy Columbia morning. She paused to hear the lamentations of the state’s 600,000 school children.

Then it was off to her second task of the day: Dismantling our state’s public school system.

“See this government bureaucrat,” Floyd said as she pushed a widowed mother with three autistic children against a wall. “She won’t have a job tomorrow.”

Meanwhile, Democrat Jim Rex announced he will run for Education Superintendent again in four years, and had a kick-off pep-rally with 10,000 supporters. Later estimates put the number at 20,000.

Floyd went to visit a local school during her lunch hour, but looked uncomfortable talking to the largely underpriviledged African-American group of children in the cafeteria who don’t stand a chance without a quality education provided by strong, well-funded public schools.

“Can I get you a voucher with those tots,” said Floyd.

“My mommy says vouchers are bad,” the child responded.

“Your mommy is stupid,” said Floyd.

After lunch, Floyd and her cadre of lobotomized dittoheads changed the locks on offices that distribute money to the state’s poorest schoolchildren.

…………….