Joe Biden Loves Him Some Black People, Etc.
DELAWARE SENATOR ALSO SEEMS TO ENJOY MAKING FUNNY FACES
FITSNews - January 14, 2007 - Delaware Senator Joe Biden is in the Palmetto State this week, apparently competing with Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd to see which one of them can attend the most King Day events.
It makes sense. Both men are running for President, and South Carolina is the first Democratic Primary State featuring a sizable African-American population.
Let’s take a look at their schedules as published by the State Newspaper (we added the scoring, of course):
SUNDAY
4 p.m.: U.S. Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., speaks at Zion Baptist Church, 801 Washington St., for NAACP Martin Luther King Jr. church service (Biden 1, Dodd 0)
6 p.m.: U.S. Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., speaks at MLK memorial service, Springfield Baptist Church, Greenville (Biden 1, Dodd 1)
MONDAY
8 a.m.: Dodd and Biden attend Columbia Urban League annual MLK Day breakfast, Brookland Baptist Church, 1066 Sunset Blvd., West Columbia (Biden 2, Dodd 2)
9 a.m.: Biden attends NAACP King Day at the Dome prayer service at Zion Baptist Church (Biden 3, Dodd 2)
10 a.m.: Biden and Dodd participate in King Day at the Dome march and rally from Zion Baptist Church to the State House (Biden 4, Dodd 3)
10:30 a.m.: Biden speaks at King Day at the Dome rally (Biden 5, Dodd 3)
3 p.m.: Dodd participates in USC School of Law’s annual MLK Day program, in the law school’s main auditorium (Biden 5, Dodd 4)
Wow. That was close. For a second there, we thought they were going to have to go to penalty kicks to settle it.
Of course, a much cooler tiebreaker would have been getting Cuba Gooding Jr. to make both of them scream “I Love Black People” at the top of their lungs like he made Jerry Maguire do. And then select the winner by getting right up in their face and yelling “You My Motherf**ker!”
Come to think of it, why is Cuba Gooding, Jr. not running for President?
WARREN TOMPKINS’ WISHFUL THINKING
Like the mad scientist that he is, Mitt Romney’s S.C. Consultant-in-Chief told the State’s Lee Bandy that his candidate is going to make things eeeeeeenteresting, berry, berry eeeeeeenteresting this election season.
“Given time and more introduction to South Carolina, I think you’ll see a steady rise in Romney’s acceptability,” Tompkins told Bandy in this morning’s edition of La Socialista. “He’s definitely a threat to the McCain nomination.”
Then, like a hunchback named Igor who is helping Tompkins build the Six Million Dollar Man or something, Spartanburg GOP Chairman Rick Beltram chimed in with the prognosis that “Romney is getting stronger by the day.”
What Dr. Lovejoy and Igor obviously haven’t seen yet are the four “flip-flop” television scripts that Sic Willie wrote over the weekend. The scripts he is actively peddling to the Brownback campaign. Or at least the scripts he is probably going to get around to calling his old buddy Hal Stevenson about at some point. Like Tuesday maybe. Yeah, after lunch Tuesday.
Actually we’re kidding. Or are we? Either way, we hear the scripts are pretty good. Well, unless you’re Mitt Romney, in which case, probably not so good. Well, they’re still “good,” you know, just not good for Romney is what we mean.
But still good … Geez, somebody make it stop.
PUTTING ANOTHER SIC WILLIE RUMOR TO BED
This is actually not the one about Viewpolitik’s 2010 Secretary of State candidate being a small black-and-white dog, although we have heard that one. Who starts these things, anyway? Seriously?
Nope, this is the “McCain Rumor,” which has probably been the second most repeated Sic Willie rumor after the one about him taking a job in State Treasurer Thomas Ravenel’s office, which obviously didn’t happen either.
Anyway, according to a marble in Sic Willie’s head that rolled down to talk to the other marble in Sic Willie’s head (a.k.a. a FITSNews exclusive), this website’s founder will not be seeking a position on the Arizona Senator’s campaign staff, which already boasts seasoned communications pros like Chris Drummond and B.J. Boling, in addition to higher-ups like Trey Walker and Richard Quinn, both of whom have extensive press and messaging experience.
Apparently, one of Sic Willie’s marbles really liked McCain but the other didn’t, so they had to remain neutral.
Comments
By elise on January 14th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Have you noticed how his hairplugs have been falling out of place lately? They were doing this really weird side part thing during the Foreign Affairs Committee meeting the other day.
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