K-Fed To Star In Super Bowl Commercial

K-Fed To Star In Super Bowl Commercial January 19, 2007

Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , trackback

WORD ON STREET IS FEDERLINE WILL APPEAR IN NEW NATIONWIDE “LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST” AD

FITSNews - January 19, 2007 - If MC Hammer was dead, he would be rolling over in his grave right now. Since he’s not dead, though, he’s probably just saying “Stop, Federline!” You know, kind of like he used to say, “Stop, Hammertime!”

Why would he be saying that?

Because somebody at Nationwide Insurance who won’t have a job for very much longer got the bright idea to use everybody’s least favorite wigger Kevin Federline in its Super Bowl “Life Comes At You Fast” ad campaign. Except when we said bright idea just then, we meant bright idea only if your company going bankrupt, losing all credibility and completely annoying the largest TV audience in world history is your definition of a good idea.

This “Life Comes At You Fast” ad concept worked when they did it with MC Hammer because guess what - Hammer actually sold millions of records and made millions of dollars. K-Fed has only sold 6,500 copies of his debut album “Playing With Fire.” To put that in perspective, we could make a grainy recording of Sic Willie farting and belching around the office, set it to a dope drum beat with the only lyrics being somebody grunting “Uhhh” and “Yey-yeah” every couple of seconds, and that recording would probably eclipse K-Fed’s sales. In like a week.

“No one has personified ‘Life Comes at You Fast’ in the media better than Federline,” said Steven Schreibman, Nationwide vice president of advertising and brand management (a.k.a. the numbnuts about to lose his job). “Our partnership with Kevin shows the world that he has a great sense of humor.”

Actually, what it shows the world is that Kevin Federline is a talentless wigger, which surprisingly, we knew already.