Harrell To Hizzoner: I’m Still Mayor Of Importantville

S.C. SPEAKER BRISTLES AT GIULIANI’S MAYORAL BUZZ, FIGHTS TO PROTECT NICKNAME, REPUTATION

FITSNews - February 5, 2007 - Caught off guard by the strong political buzz surrounding Hizzoner Rudy Giuliani’s weekend visit to the Palmetto State, S.C. House Speaker and leading John McCain supporter Bobby Harrell tried to reclaim the offensive today.

“There’s only one Mayor around these parts and that’s me,” Harrell said. “Rudy Giuliani needs to stop and recognize. They should be calling me Hizzoner, not him.”

Harrell then walked off the podium, stood in the corner and started to cry.

Apparently, the “Mayor of Importantville” - under whose leadership state spending has grown by 22% in the past two years - took some remarks made by “America’s Mayor” to the SCGOP executive committee over the weekend very personally.

“They want to be able to go home and say I got this project or I got that project,” Giuliani said Saturday, referring to federal legislators. “If we’re going to have discipline in government it’s going to have to come from the executive.”

“That’s not fair,” Harrell shot back between sobs. “This is the same thing that mean Mister Mark Sanford says about legislators all the time. That mean Mister Mark is a real poo-poo face.”

Gov. Sanford responded by calling Harrell a “doo-doo head,” but said he couldn’t comment further on Giuliani’s visit or the 2008 presidential race because his wife, Jenny, wouldn’t let him.

“At the end of the day, I trust Jenny implicitly to make that call,” the governor told FITSNews. “Once she’s decided, I’ll make a trip to the tanning booth and then go on TV to say something about whoever we endorse keeping America home to our four little boys and lots of other kids and grandkids that are out there. Then I’ll try real hard to convince that person I could actually make it through a Vice Presidential vetting process.”

The Harrell-Hizzoner dust-up, which by the way we’re completely making up for comedic purposes (see “satire” tag at the end of this article), left more than a few South Carolina political observers scratching their heads.

“I did not think a Speaker of the House could have thinner skin than David Wilkins,” one source told FITSNews. “Of course, that was before I saw Bobby Harrell in action.”