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Fantasy Draft Weekend In (Really Bad) Pictures

ON THE ROAD WITH SIC WILLIE IN LOUISIANA

FITSNews - April 4, 2007 - It’s called the Great Santini League, and every spring its nine eclectic members assemble at an undisclosed North American location to conduct what is arguably the most celebrated fantasy baseball draft in America.

Rich in tradition, steeped in lore and brimming with enough baseball nostalgia to make even Cooperstown blush, the Great Santini League’s annual draft has emerged as a seminal event in the fabric of our nation’s life, becoming so synonymous with America’s national pasttime that documentary filmmaker Ken Burns is considering adding a tenth installment to his celebrated “Baseball” series just to chronicle its exploits.

This year’s Great Santini draft was held in Baton Rouge, LA - in the game room of legendary Louisiana Gov. Huey P. Long, the “Kingfish” himself. Except he’s dead, so that’s not true. It was actually held at Kingfish Cameron’s pad, which we gotta be honest is probably more impressive. Sic Willie actually drafted a decent team this year (pictured - above), but his selection of Dodgers’ starter Brad Penny in the ninth round was universally regarded as the worst pick of the draft. Anyway, onto the Draft Weekend photo gallery …

(Above) We had never seen Confederate flags with large mouth bass on them before, but then again we’d never pulled off the interstate in Havana, Florida before, either. Let’s just say Sic Willie is lucky to be alive after snapping this picture.

(Above) Pellet Ice = The Bomb.

(Above) Coming out of a tunnel in Mobile, AL. This was prior to a certain individual getting a little too excited during Guns-N-Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine” and busting up our windshield.

(Above) The Holy of Holies - site of the 2007 Great Santini League fantasy draft.

(Above) Not one, but two autographed Hank Aaron jerseys. From Kingfish Cameron’s private collection.

(Above) Barry Bonds’ autographed home run sneaks, courtesy of Kingfish Cameron.

(Above) That’s first base from Game One of the 2001 World Series, autographed by winning pitcher Curt Schilling. Speaking of first base, Sic Willie did not reach it the entire weekend - even after dropping $600 at the Baton Rouge Gold Club Friday night.

(Above) An autographed Stan Musial jersey. Original. Another from Kingfish Cameron’s impressive memorabilia stash. Sic Willie attempted to steal this valuable jersey and replace it with his completely worthless Sergei Federov hockey jersey (autographed by a black smudge the dry cleaners’ can’t seem to remove) but the plan was foiled by that pesky glass frame. He also tried to replace an autographed Willie Mays’ baseball with his own beat up Wal-Mart baseball but his Indiana Jones’ skills failed him and the alarm went off.

(Above) The Great Santini League mug - the most famous trophy in all of sports, a.k.a. “What it’s all about.”

(Above) The “House That Huey Built.” Louisiana’s state capital building is all lit up at night in this pic, with the statue of Huey Long visible in the foreground.

(Above) A good close-up shot of the capital building.

(Above) This is our favorite pic from the trip. The reflected light from the Horace Wilkinson bridge dances on the Mighty Mississippi below. Taken from the east bank of the river late at night. Incidentally, the hotel people were not at all pleased with Sic Willie when he tracked Missippi’ mud through their lobby moments after snapping this shot.

(Above) Santini owners Cal Ripken and John Herrick make their selections during the fifth round of the draft. And yes, Cal Ripken is in our fantasy baseball league, people. No joke. His team is even called the Orioles.

(Above) Some post-draft eats, courtesy of Cal Ripken. Oh, and do we suck the heads? F’Shure!

(Above) Down to New Orleans. America’s favorite street on a lazy Sunday morning.

(Above) Sic Willie’s balcony overlooking Bourbon Street in the French Quarter. Notice all the beads hanging from the railing. $600 at the strip club. Another $500 on beads. Did we mention he didn’t get to first base all weekend?

(Above) The world famous Louisiana Superdome. Of course idiot Sic Willie started singing “We Don’t Need Another Hero” to random people on the street after taking this picture. Apparently he thought this was the “Thunderdome.”

(Above) Andrew Jackson giddys up in the French Quarter square that bears his name.

(Above) Crowds walking the street outside Cafe du Monde in the French Quarter. It looked busy enough to us, but local merchants tell FITSNews the Quarter is a long way from returning to its former glory. “The mayor and the local politicians here are assholes,” said Gladis (with an “I”) Calderon, owner of N’Awlins Cigar & Coffee Shop on St. Ann Street. Thanks for not holding back, Gladis. Hopefully nobody calls a hit in on your store this week because we are really enjoying the “Reserva Reals” you recommended.

(Above) Sic Willie lighting a cigar on Bourbon Street. This shot is a little out of focus because let’s face it, prostitutes don’t take good pictures.

(Above) This shot is a little out of focus but is representative of what you see for miles and miles once you get out of downtown New Orleans. Total desolation, people. This used to be a thriving shopping center. Now it’s a blasted out building with piles of steel and concrete stacked up in its parking lot. We took this shot about ten miles northeast of downtown New Orleans on Interstate 10 heading toward Slidell, LA.

(Above) One of the tens of thousands of deserted homes we saw on the road out of New Orleans. At first they look normal enough but when you look closely you see that all of their doors and windows are completely blasted out and many of the roofs are gone, too. We saw hundreds of deserted neighborhoods like this one, literally hundreds of thousands of homes.

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