Man-Cleavage Olympics Goes Down To The Nipple
SOUTH CAROLINA POLITICOS SWEEP MEDALS AT CONSERVATIVE THINKTANK’S RETREAT
FITSNews - September 22, 2007 - Three conservative South Carolina politicos earned medals this weekend at the S.C. Policy Council’s annual retreat, a.k.a. the “Man Cleavage Olympics.” Sumter Rep. Murrell Smith was a surprise medalist, capturing the bronze, while former House Majority Leader Rick Quinn returned to medal-winning form by striking silver.
The undisputed “King of Jiggle,” however, was S.C. Policy Council President Ed “McMuffin” McMullen, who easily outdistanced the competition in the critical “proportion” category. Judges agreed, however, that all three victors benefited from the absence of four time man-cleavage gold medalist Rep. Chip Limehouse, who did not compete in this year’s games.
“Nobody gets Jiggy wit it like Limehouse,” said Policy Council V.P. and Olympic judge Ashley Landess. “He’s the Greg Louganis of man-cleavage. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na. Hey!”
Comments
By caligula on September 24th, 2007 at 8:42 am
it appears folks has hit an all time low with this. how low can he go?
By Ed McMullen on September 24th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Oh, young Will. How right you are! In fact, while competing in the pre-trial all important tennis match, I was running down a drop-shot and my left nipple gave me a black eye and ended my chances for another gold.
So only one conclusion — after seeking solace in two crabcakes and three lemon bars, I decided it was time to get back out on the track. A poor man’s boob reduction, if you will. I am gearing up right now for the Charleston Bridge Run. That’s a 10K, young Will. Translates to 6.2 miles. Without stopping for a smoke break. I’ve run it before, and without a sports bra.
So how about it, Will? Want to run with me? It is in April. But I promise you this….if you don’t put down the cancer sticks, I will outrun you, even though you are 12 years younger and have less hair to weigh you down.
Step out and start training, kid. Accept the challenge. I’ll be at the finish line waiting for you. And I’ll even buy you lunch afterwards….
By Grasping on September 24th, 2007 at 11:42 am
WAY TO GO MCMUFFIN!!!!!
By FITSNews on September 24th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
McMuffin,
We’ll check w/ Sic but chances are he’s in. Turns out our bad boy lettered in Cross Country in H.S. and still runs the 10K at seven minutes a mile.
He also has some Speedos he’s been itching to try out …
-FITSNews
By Mr. Business on September 25th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
No way Will can run a 7 minute mile…high school (15 years ago) doesn’t count.
By true conservative on September 26th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
All man-cleavage kidding aside, who you callin’ conservative? These guys? I don’t think so!