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Barry Bonds Indicted

By fitsnews • on November 15, 2007

BRING ON THE ASTERISK, PEOPLE

FITSNews - November 15, 2007 - Home run cheater Barry Bonds has been indicted by a federal grand jury today on four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. The indictments come after a four-year federal investigation into steroid use among athletes. From CNNSI:

(Bonds) was cited for lying when he said he didn’t knowingly take steroids given to him by his personal trainer and longtime friend, Greg Anderson. Bonds also was charged with lying that Anderson never injected him with steroids.

Of course the grand jury has evidence proving that Bonds did take steroids, which is pretty obvious in this before and after picture of the buffed-up slugger. No lie, if we were the prosecutor seeking these indictments, we probably would have just held up images of Bonds looking like a twig in the early 1990’s and then images of him looking like some WWF wrestler a decade later. Then we would have just sat down and crossed our arms while we exhaled disapprovingly, awaiting our glory. With legal skill like that, maybe they wouldn’t have even asked us whether or not we passed the bar on a technicality. We’re licensed to kick ass, people, and our rock hard abs are 100% natural.

Seriously, the only way to teach kids that cheating and lying about it isn’t cool is to strip Bonds of his bogus record and let him spend some time locked up with dudes who build their muscle the old-fashioned way.

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By Barry Bonds Cheated on November 15th, 2007 at 6:55 pm

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