S.C. Rep. Ted Vick (D-Chesterfield) is being defended by fellow lawmaker Todd Rutherford (D-Columbia) as he stares down his latest driving under the influence arrest – news of which was broken exclusively by FITS.
Rutherford, longtime FITS readers will recall, is the lawyer-legislator who famously claimed that another of his legislative clients – former S.C. Rep. Thad Viers – was “under the influence of love” when he was arrested for threatening his ex-wife’s boyfriend in 2007.
“Under the influence of love?” Damn … Johnny Cockroach couldn’t have done better than that.
So … what creative legal defense has this shyster conjured up for Vick?
You won’t believe it …
According to Rutherford, Vick was not under the influence of alcohol late Tuesday evening when a S.C. Bureau of Protective Services (SCBPS) officer arrested after the fifth-term lawmaker after he pulled into the S.C. State House parking garage.
Okay then … so why was Vick staggering as the offer pursued him on foot from his vehicle?
According to Rutherford, Vick … (and please, try not to spit all over your screen when you read this) … had a “pebble in his shoe.”
That’s right … a “pebble in his shoe.”
(Snort).
Never mind that Vick reeked of alcohol – and admitted to the officer that he had been drinking. And never mind this is the same guy who was busted for DUI less than a year ago (a charge that’s still pending).
Obviously Vick is innocent until proven guilty, but if the best excuse Rutherford can come up with is that his client had a “pebble in his shoe” then seriously … he should have kept his mouth shut. Of course as anyone who knows Rutherford can attest, he’s incapable of keeping his mouth shut.
And thus we have what will live forever in South Carolina political lore as the “pebble in the shoe defense.”
In fact the line is already generating buzz on Twitter.
“Long day,” one of our followers tweeted. “Time to ‘put a pebble in my shoe.'”
Ha!
And then take a nice hike on the Appalachian Trail …
***
64 comments
Never blow in the breathalyzer, and take your chances with a plea to a lesser charge. And call Matt Bodman to help you navigate the legal system. Trust me.
Never blow in the breathalyzer, and take your chances with a plea to a lesser charge. And call Matt Bodman to help you navigate the legal system. Trust me.
How do attorneys make defense’s without cracking a smile at times?
“Yes, your honor-we are pleading not guilty, but way of the pebble in my clients shoe defense.”
“What?”
“Well your honor, technically speaking my client was stopped by the officer before committing any offense. Ergo, my client is not guilty regardless of your skepticism of our pebble claim. Good job officer, keep up the good work. Now your honor, I believe Judge Toal has requested a summary of our proceedings from me this afternoon, so are you ready to rule?”
Allegorically, center on target, hilariously accurate!!!!
How do attorneys make defense’s without cracking a smile at times?
“Yes, your honor-we are pleading not guilty, but way of the pebble in my clients shoe defense.”
“What?”
“Well your honor, technically speaking my client was stopped by the officer before committing any offense. Ergo, my client is not guilty regardless of your skepticism of our pebble claim. Good job officer, keep up the good work. Now your honor, I believe Judge Toal has requested a summary of our proceedings from me this afternoon, so are you ready to rule?”
Allegorically, center on target, hilariously accurate!!!!
Sorry for the multiple posts, but I couldn’t also help thinking about the absurdity of the pebble argument in the context of the “banana in the tailpipe” gag:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HktV2yGtLv8
Sorry for the multiple posts, but I couldn’t also help thinking about the absurdity of the pebble argument in the context of the “banana in the tailpipe” gag:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HktV2yGtLv8
“I didn’t realize I hit Margaret Cain’s car on Heyward Street and did 4 grand in damage because I was listening to a book on tape,” said Queen Jean. Why don’t you start a poll for which politician has told the biggest DUI lie in recent history?
“I didn’t realize I hit Margaret Cain’s car on Heyward Street and did 4 grand in damage because I was listening to a book on tape,” said Queen Jean. Why don’t you start a poll for which politician has told the biggest DUI lie in recent history?
Todd Rutherford is owned by Jean Toal as has been posted on this site several times. This one smells already.
Todd Rutherford is owned by Jean Toal as has been posted on this site several times. This one smells already.
Most sober people stop and take the pebble out of their shoe if it’s causing them to limp or stagger.
We are talking about a Democrat legislator…
Most sober people stop and take the pebble out of their shoe if it’s causing them to limp or stagger.
We are talking about a Democrat legislator…
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Todd Rutherford is the Jimmy Hart of SC attorneys.
Todd Rutherford is the Jimmy Hart of SC attorneys.
Addictions to iPhones, painkillers, cupcakes, cosmetics, fast food, alcohol and sex are taking over our lives.
The new “rock” obsession is described in “The Fix” by Damien Thompson, published last month.
Shunning the concept of addiction as disease, he shows how people are using the most mundane substances like iPads, muffins, computer games, small gizmos (toys, really) — even rocks — that we learn to like too much and supplement traditional addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.
It describes how “mumbo-jumbo” is conquering the world, and people, including juries, will believe practically anything.
This rock-in-the-shoe defense was lifted right from page 57 of Thompson’s book.
What complete, total, laughable bullshit.
But what does that mean if I’m addicted to Fitsnews?
It could also be that I just can’t help myself!
Addictions to iPhones, painkillers, cupcakes, cosmetics, fast food, alcohol and sex are taking over our lives.
The new “rock” obsession is described in “The Fix” by Damien Thompson, published last month.
Shunning the concept of addiction as disease, he shows how people are using the most mundane substances like iPads, muffins, computer games, small gizmos (toys, really) — even rocks — that we learn to like too much and supplement traditional addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.
It describes how “mumbo-jumbo” is conquering the world, and people, including juries, will believe practically anything.
This rock-in-the-shoe defense was lifted right from page 57 of Thompson’s book.
What complete, total, laughable bullshit.
But what does that mean if I’m addicted to Fitsnews?
It could also be that I just can’t help myself!
Is that really a pebble – or one of his balls?
He’s the one with the pecker as big as an apple, right? Bessenger man? Arrested several times?
I thought that the vernacular for crack was a rock…
Is that really a pebble – or one of his balls?
He’s the one with the pecker as big as an apple, right? Bessenger man? Arrested several times?
I thought that the vernacular for crack was a rock…
I suspect the Policy council will have a press conference tomorrow on this one.
I suspect the Policy council will have a press conference tomorrow on this one.
Every time I see,’Ted Vick’,I think of,Thad Viers,and have to recomputate (W).Show his huge bulge again,or even better,a REAL fucking dick pic! Wassup,Thad?
Hey there 9″, right now I am chilling out at a beach in Cancun. Incognito, of course.
I love you!
Every time I see,’Ted Vick’,I think of,Thad Viers,and have to recomputate (W).Show his huge bulge again,or even better,a REAL fucking dick pic! Wassup,Thad?
Hey there 9″, right now I am chilling out at a beach in Cancun. Incognito, of course.
I love you!
Is his lawyer drunk too?
Is his lawyer drunk too?
Guess he had a few drinks “on the rocks,” huh?
Guess he had a few drinks “on the rocks,” huh?
Yay FITS!!! ROFL!!!! HahahaahahaaaAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally another episode from one of our very own South Carolina reality shows (sitcoms?). It’s like watching two years olds talking to each other with baby gibberish. Whatever comes out of their mouths isn’t comprehensible by grown ups, but the babies look at each other like the gobbledygook means something. Cracks me up!!! (No, not the crack some of them are likely selling or smoking. Save that for another episode). Hilarious!!
Yay FITS!!! ROFL!!!! HahahaahahaaaAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally another episode from one of our very own South Carolina reality shows (sitcoms?). It’s like watching two years olds talking to each other with baby gibberish. Whatever comes out of their mouths isn’t comprehensible by grown ups, but the babies look at each other like the gobbledygook means something. Cracks me up!!! (No, not the crack some of them are likely selling or smoking. Save that for another episode). Hilarious!!
As long as he was under the two pebble limit.
As long as he was under the two pebble limit.
“This is my wreck and this is my check” mentality.
“This is my wreck and this is my check” mentality.
If you’re talking about a guy that hangs with low lifes like J. Brooks, what do you expect?
If you’re talking about a guy that hangs with low lifes like J. Brooks, what do you expect?
I hope for Willow and Laurel’s sake, he gets help. Really soon.
I hope for Willow and Laurel’s sake, he gets help. Really soon.
Teflon Ted can run and hide behind a weak defense, but his wife is soooooo going to kill him when he gets home this weekend.
Teflon Ted can run and hide behind a weak defense, but his wife is soooooo going to kill him when he gets home this weekend.
On the night of her husband’s “military” departure, Nikki did not fall down the stairs because of alcohol. It was a pebble. A pebble in a hooker boot will get you every time.
On the night of her husband’s “military” departure, Nikki did not fall down the stairs because of alcohol. It was a pebble. A pebble in a hooker boot will get you every time.
He keeps his home in his shoe?
He keeps his home in his shoe?
Why yes, I do believe it is time for a pebble.
Why yes, I do believe it is time for a pebble.
Why is it they have no problem making the laws, but then feel absolutely no obligation to obey them. I guess that is the entitled crowd. Makes me sick.
Why is it they have no problem making the laws, but then feel absolutely no obligation to obey them. I guess that is the entitled crowd. Makes me sick.