National Politics - 2016

Libertarian Presidential Candidate Wants To Colonize Space

MEET KEENAN WALLACE DUNHAM … INTERGALACTIC COLONIZER || By FITSNEWS || Just when we thought we’d brought libertarianism to the mainstream … at least in South Carolina … along comes a presidential candidate with some decidedly “out of this world” ideas. Keenan Wallace Dunham of Myrtle Beach, S.C. describes himself…

MEET KEENAN WALLACE DUNHAM … INTERGALACTIC COLONIZER

|| By FITSNEWS || Just when we thought we’d brought libertarianism to the mainstream … at least in South Carolina … along comes a presidential candidate with some decidedly “out of this world” ideas.

Keenan Wallace Dunham of Myrtle Beach, S.C. describes himself as “a Christian dedicated to family values and peace in the world.”  And while he’s mounting a long-shot bid to earn a nomination which itself is long-shot for the presidency … he’s got some common sense ideas on the legalization of marijuana and the elimination of the individual income tax.

This website has written for years in support of both those concepts …

Dunham’s views get a bit off the beaten path, though, when his campaign website addresses the issue of “space colonization.”

“Keenan is a Mensa high IQ scientist who has planned this campaign for ten years and is constantly honing and teaching his plans for their nationwide implementation,” his website states by way of introducing the subject.

Mmmm-kay.

So … what’s the plan?

According to Keenan’s campaign, the money raised by taxing marijuana at nine percent “will fund Keenan’s Space Colonization NASA for Moon travel, Mars bases, TERRAFORMING, Asteroid Mining, and Galactic expansion for generations.”

“In a personal scientific vision Keenan plans to reDux our NASA into a colonizing mission for generations to eventually mine Suns all the way to the center cluster of billions of stars of our galaxy!” his website states.

Whoa …

And we thought our belief that NASA should be privatized was radical!

We’re no “Mensa high IQs” here at FITS, but we do know a thing or two about political messaging.  And if we’d been planning our presidential campaign launch for ten years … we might have dialed down the interstellar insanity to, say, “five.”

We’re not necessarily saying the pursuit of asteroid mining as part of America’s generational galactic expansion is a bad thing … but Keenan’s “head in the stars” candidacy seems to us to be in need of a reality check.

Of course we are interested in hearing his thoughts on non-proliferation agreements with the Klingons and Romulans …

***

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38 comments

TroubleBaby July 15, 2015 at 1:00 pm

A “libertarian” pitching taxes to build New Gingrich style moon colonies….perfect.

Anyone can label themselves anything….just ask Bruce, er Kaitlyn, Jenner.

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The Buzzman July 15, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Moon colonies were never a bad idea. Taxing to make it happen, that’s the bad idea.

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 4:57 pm

This guy’s idea of a Moon colony is a room at Motel 6 on the dark side of the moon.

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Sic Semper Tyrannis July 15, 2015 at 4:34 pm

Spelled with a “C”.

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TroubleBaby July 15, 2015 at 9:22 pm

Pardon Muah. I’m ashamed.

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9" July 15, 2015 at 7:53 pm

I was amazed.Kaitlyn looks just like Jethrine Bodine

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alisondjensen700 July 16, 2015 at 3:34 am Reply
Slartibartfast July 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm

Laugh, if you will, but it has been a long-held tenet of Libertarians that we would be much further advanced in space flight, had it not been for governmental control – see the works of L. Neil Smith, Robert A. Heinlein, and other Prometheus award winners. Taxing for governmental programs, as TroubleBaby points out, is not a Libertarian (ahem) enterprise.

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Bible Thumper July 15, 2015 at 1:34 pm

“a long-held tenet of Libertarians that we would be much further advanced in space flight, had it not been for governmental control”

Right. Governmental control of LSD, METH, ecstasy….

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Slartibartfast July 15, 2015 at 2:03 pm

More like government just being government.

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The Colonel July 15, 2015 at 1:13 pm

And all ya’ll thought Ms. Lindsey was the weirdest candidate from South Carolina…

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The Buzzman July 15, 2015 at 3:52 pm

You’re forgetting the Cullers. 10 kinds of weird.

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K.Mann July 16, 2015 at 12:03 am

Who knows? If andwhen Iran gets a nuclear bomb, some legislators in Washington might regret not having taken Keenan’s advice.
And I wonder if Israel has given this plan due consideration. (They made a garden from the dessert, so they could probably do wonders with the Moon.) And, really, what’s one more Diaspora if the alternative is annihilation?

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Orange Soda July 15, 2015 at 1:15 pm

Wow, did Keenan bleach his skin? Where’s Kel?

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shifty henry July 15, 2015 at 1:28 pm

After midnight last night all contact with Fitsnews was lost. I deleted the app and the task bar icon but did not help. Tried this morning to google but it came up in Russian! Anybody else experience this, and if so, what the hell was that all about?

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Bible Thumper July 15, 2015 at 1:36 pm

Will Folks aka Sic FITSNews Bible Thumper • 3 hours ago

Yup. Hacktastic Morning!

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E Norma Scok July 15, 2015 at 1:49 pm

“hacktastic”..suuurrre.

You mean “shitty server (singular) and crappy SQL DB” admins.

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shifty henry July 15, 2015 at 3:03 pm

hah! I decided to translate it and this is what came up —

“mumps peppas all series …

mumps peppas consecutive series pig
peppas all series in a row.”

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 5:25 pm

We need to supply this guy with a list of the shops and stores that we would like to have in the first shopping center on the moon. Would we be able to take and drive our cars on the moon? I imagine we would have to modify the carburetor.

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 3:08 pm

I have had the last two morning of not being able to access “Fits News.”

It is a conspiracy against the sane bloggers that post here.

Or he could be limiting our access with the new “bullshit” filter he just installed.

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XXX July 16, 2015 at 9:58 am

What that was all about is you need to get a life.

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E norma Scok July 15, 2015 at 1:48 pm

You backed T-Rav..and you’re questioning this guys ideas?

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Nölff July 15, 2015 at 1:48 pm

People who brag about Mensa wear it like a badge of honor… like they are better than everyone else. They’re smart is some ways, but downright retarded in others. Nature has a way of balancing them out.

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Bible Thumper July 15, 2015 at 2:10 pm

KEENAN is crazy. Man is never going to go to the Moon.

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Big Shot Attorney July 15, 2015 at 2:12 pm

This guy is hilarious! Whats not to love!

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 5:19 pm

Actually, I kinda like the guy. Anyone that bases his election on building a moon colony, you gotta love. If the next election was based on letting anyone in kindergarten and older vote, he may have a chance.

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 2:30 pm

***DING**** ***DING*** ***DING***
PECKERHEAD ALERT !!! PECKERHEAD ALERT !!!

***DING*** ***DING*** ***DING***

You may resume normal blogging.

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Tazmaniac July 15, 2015 at 4:33 pm

If he does his space suit like he does a tie and collar he won’t last long.

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 5:28 pm

Bet he is no Buck Rodgers.

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Tazmaniac July 15, 2015 at 8:24 pm

L. Ron Hubbard?

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erneba July 15, 2015 at 10:06 pm

L Ron Hubbard was a very complicated character, don’t know if this guy has attained the knowledge and experience to be compared with LRH. We will see, may be he has the intellect and drive to do something notable, we will just have to wait and see. And he also ,at this point, would not make a very good Buck Rodgers.

Soft Sigh from Hell July 15, 2015 at 3:42 pm

Mencken, almost a century ago, pointed out how kooks are rarely kooks in just one subject area.

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The Buzzman July 15, 2015 at 3:49 pm

On mining the sun and other stars, see the story of Icarus for a bit of a cautionary tale.

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The Buzzman July 15, 2015 at 3:53 pm

Shocked to discover he’s not one of my Facebook friends.

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Tazmaniac July 15, 2015 at 4:32 pm

I guess he gets his fashion sense out of MENSA magazine. Every time I’ve taken an IQ test at school or for job interviews I have received a membership offer from them so I’m not that impressed.

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Tom July 15, 2015 at 6:01 pm

He just does not seem to appreciate the Irony of his platforms. Maybe this will help.

http://www.alaskacommons.com/2013/05/25/smf-37/libertarian-society-vs-socialist-society-mad-max-star-trek

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Mike at the Beach July 15, 2015 at 11:09 pm

FITS “…brought libertarianism to the mainstream…

Snicker…

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Keenan Wallace Dunham August 24, 2015 at 4:22 am

“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.”
? John Locke

Reply

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